Check this out.

Can I address something very near and dear to my heart?

Do you remember back in the nineties the advice we used to receive from our parents? “Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t wear clothing with your name on it. So help me if you aren’t home by the time the street lights come on without a call…” Right? Unfortunately, our society today calls for much more caution than it used to.

Please tell me why after twenty years we now think it’s totally acceptable to have everything monogrammed? Why on earth are parents checking in to their children’s schools when they’re having lunch with them? Are you aware that even though your profile may very well be “private” that the school is a public place and someone can easily find the school’s Facebook page, see your check in, and then click on your profile picture and immediately see your child’s picture as your cover photo?

You guys, not only are we over-sharing, but we are literally inviting strangers to come and find our babies if they wanted to. It’s scary. Human/child/sex trafficking isn’t a thing to be loosey-goosey with.

I just ask that you re-think how much you share on the internet with your following, that’s all. I see so many missing-child flyers circulating around on the internet and no parent should ever have to go through that. ❤

 

Raising Warriors

A lot of things have been heavy on my heart lately, but something that presses firmer than anything else is the fact that Violet and Olivia have to grow up in this shit storm society we have created for ourselves. It’s an era of technological tyranny, social injustice, and downright stupidity. Why is the word “selfie” in the dictionary? What the fuck does fleek even mean?

I gag at the thought of them going to public school and learning common core math because that shit doesn’t make sense to me at all. America is already the only country to use the customary measuring system, which really baffles me because the metric system goes by tens, why are we turning math into a different language for our children? Math should be the same in every country! Better yet, why are students attending public schools only taught what they’re tested on? There are three learning styles and every kid learns differently. What do these tests prove?

We are living in a time where rights are literally being taken away from people. People can’t afford healthcare and they’re being fined for that, and prescriptions are unattainable for a lot of people dependent on them due to their inflation in price. The government literally wants to control everything, including but not limited to genetically modified foods and what women do with their bodies, yet we still aren’t being paid the same for working the same position as our male counterparts, and we have women claiming antifeminism with pride. Have you read the history behind women being granted the right to vote? Get it together, ladies!

Right now in 2017, rape is really something that is questioned by what somebody wears or by how much they drink. Rather than teaching our children that no means no, or that there is a such thing as respect for someone’s body when they can and cannot speak for themselves, we have judges throwing rich white boys in jail for three months and letting them sit their time out in solitary confinement so nobody can hurt them. At the same time, in a lower income neighborhood, we have black men being pulled over on their ways home getting shot and killed because “they fit the description” of a suspect wanted in a previous crime, or they end up jailed for the rest of their lives for possessing two joints. You know what happens nine times out of ten to those responsible? Absolutely nothing.

How do I redirect my girls’ attention away from all of this bullshit as they grow up? It’s frustrating yet sad at the same time because sometimes I feel like I won’t be able to. It’s everywhere. This state of being and negativity has saturated our population. It’s even within my family and friends, and all I think when they talk is, “oh, the ignorance.” I try so hard to be a person of inspiration and I try so hard to be the shining light that people need, but I wish others tried harder, too. It would make things so much easier.

As their mother, I will teach my girls to love and respect themselves, and I will empower them and equip them with the resources to properly care for themselves. I will teach them to love and respect others, and I will teach them to stand up for those who are too afraid to speak out on their own. I will also teach them to stay quiet when it’s necessary, because not all of our thoughts should be shared, especially the hateful ones. Narcissism is an unattractive trait, and God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. I will teach them compassion, I will show them the power of prayer, and I will most of all raise them to be proud of where they came from- a long line of warriors.

(pictured: Violet and Olivia rolling Thieves and Peace and Calming oils on their feet before bed to promote healthy immune systems and restful sleep. I love empowering them from early on to take care of their bodies)

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The choice is YOURS

If I asked you what “personal autonomy” was, would you know? If you don’t know what it means, look it up. Because that’s what this post is about: doing your own research so you can make informed decisions for yourself, your family, and your overall health and wellness, despite what moral or society tells you. When I say research, I do not mean using solely the internet. I mean picking up books, reading biographies, journals, recorded scientific data, court documents, etc., and using those resources to guide you to the choice that best suits your needs, no matter the circumstance.

For those of you who don’t know, Violet and Olivia were born six weeks early. I went to the hospital because I had some blood loss and ended up finding out that I was already 4cm dilated and my blood pressure was through the fucking roof. So high, the nurses were shocked that I hadn’t had a seizure yet, which scared me because I didn’t know that was a thing. When my doctor asked me if I wanted to attempt to have them vaginally, I said no, because 1. I didn’t want to raise my blood pressure MORE due to the stress of the whole entire situation and end up having a cesarean delivery anyway, and 2. I didn’t want to be induced. I have never been a fan of inductions. I think they are very unnecessary because women have been giving birth since the beginning of time, and all pregnancies, whether animal,  mammal, insect, fish, or any LIVING THING, have a biologically set timer. The Pitocin that is administered during these inductions mimics oxytocin, which is the hormone released during birth and also during breastfeeding, which promotes feelings of happiness and serenity, and if you have a synthetic compound in your body mimicking that, the natural process is hindered. Did you know that you are more likely to develop post partum depression if you had an induced labor? It’s true.

Same with birth control. I have a LOT of people ask me if I’m on birth control, and when I tell them no, they always seem shocked. What is so shocking? Because I have twins? What are the reasons you take it? I’ve been told many of these reasons from various friends:

  • acne management
  • hormone balance
  • loose/gain weight
  • avoid pregnancy (the most obvious)

I got the Depo shot my senior year of high school. You know what happened? I went from a size 4 to 00. I had no appetite. I looked sick and unhealthy. I also didn’t get a period for five consecutive months. The worst part? It was an injection that I had to wait for my body to completely rid of. It took MONTHS for my body to get back to normal. When I had the girls, I thought, “there is no way in HELL I’m having another set of twins,” so I got on the mini pill at my 2 week postpartum check up. Immediately I could tell that my hormones were disarray. If I can feel that, literally, can you imagine what it’s actually doing to our brains and bodies? I stopped taking it, because I am uncomfortable with the idea of pumping my body with synthetic hormones that are known to cause various types of cancer in women like breast, cervical, and ovarian, especially if they’re not even 100% effective. Guess what? Trojan Bareskin condoms are solid. Go get you some.

When the girls were born, I was so adamant about breastfeeding because of the information I had gathered from two different books, “The Nursing Mother’s Companion” by Kathleen Huggins and “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” by La Leche League, so I was pumping around the clock while they were in the NICU. Breastmilk was like superfood for them. The colostrum coats their digestive tract which gives their immune system an insane boost from the get go, and the chemical composition of breastmilk changes based on your baby’s saliva to suit their needs. Your baby’s saliva literally tells your boobs whether they need more fat, more protein, more water, etc., if they’re healthy, if they’re sick… It’s incredible. I finally got to hold the girls a couple of days after I had them, and they both immediately started rooting. The nurses saw that, and told me not to let them latch. I thought, “this feels very unnatural.” You know why? Because it was.

At their two month check up with their first pediatrician, she told me that they were both underweight and that I needed to stop and unlatch after fifteen minutes and supplement with formula. She told me breastmilk only had 20 calories and formula had 22, so ideally formula was the better choice. She also said that they were burning calories while nursing. That went against everything I had come to understand. From my knowledge, breastmilk had the same caloric value and like I previously mentioned, milk changes to suit baby’s needs. Also, to establish good milk supply, you nurse as long and as often as baby wants. That’s THE most effective way to sustain a healthy milk supply- all the supplements and cookies in the world won’t help if you aren’t bonding physically with baby. It’s a biological process.

At their four month check up, she said the same thing. The girls were underweight, not on the growth charts, which by the way are AVERAGE GUIDELINES, and this time she threw in, “you’re going to give them brain failure if they don’t get their weight up.” Do you know what THAT tactic is called? Fear mongering. I left the office with Erik and as soon as we got in the car, I lost it. I felt like I was failing my babies, even though subconsciously I knew I wasn’t. We saw her one more time for their sixth month appointment, and when she told me to start them on solids, even though they were six weeks premature which equated to only being 4.5 months old, I was done. This lady was so misinformed it wasn’t funny, and my babies were NOT going to be a product of her lack of knowledge. I sent her an email suggesting she read those two books and do some more research, because moms younger than me or women simply uninformed would absolutely take her advice, which was incorrect.

I started looking around for a new pediatrician for the girls to see for their nine month check up, and used words like “breastfeeding friendly” in my searches. I spoke to a few nurses at various clinics before I came across a doctor who not only was educated on breastfeeding and premature babies, but understanding of the entire situation. The visit with her went really well, but she noted that Violet’s hemoglobin levels were 10.8 and they needed to be 11.0 to be considered not anemic. She wrote a prescription for Polyvisol to help raise her iron levels. When we left I told Erik, “we are not giving her that supplement. We can up her iron intake naturally by giving her more chicken and veggies.”  Guess whose iron levels were in the normal range at her one year check up? Mhm.

I know that our bodies are designed to naturally ward off infections and viral illnesses we contract, and I know that real food is real medicine. If you take something every single time you get sick, you don’t allow yourself to heal properly, and you also put yourself at risk to develop resistances to the meds, which can be troublesome later resulting in needing higher doses or stronger meds. If the girls are teething, I don’t administer Tylenol. I’ve also gotten flack for that, but it is what it is. I have never freaked out over a fever and rushed them to the doctor, I watch it and I monitor them, I change clothes accordingly. I nurse them. I’ve done tepid baths, and I also feed them real food. If you’re constantly eating fast food or ready-make meals full of preservatives and processed shit, you can bet your bottom dollar your family is going to fall below that wellness line because that stuff does absolutely no good for you.

And while we are talking about food, because this also correlates to this post, guess what? I was on the phone with a very good friend of mine a few days ago, and I was telling her how I felt like shit any time I ate bread or had dairy and her literal response was, “Brittany, you aren’t lactose intolerant and you don’t have celiac disease.” She laughed as I sat there staring at my computer with a page about The Complete Master Cleanse I had pulled up, stunned. I started to tell her that I had effectively eliminated dairy from my diet for a week and immediately noticed a difference in how I felt overall, but I stopped because I realized it didn’t matter. I didn’t need to remind her we are literally the only species that drinks ANOTHER specie’s milk past infancy. Unless she had heard it straight from the doctor’s mouth, what I said was untrue. This rule seems to apply in other aspects of her life because a lot of our conversations result in me suggesting a more natural approach to something and she retorts with, “Well my (insert specialist here) said this.” Hmm… that’s fine, but I would be shopping around for a second and third opinion.

I’m not sharing these thoughts with you to show you how anti western medicine I am, because I am not, but I do know that doctors follow a protocol that typically results in a written prescription, which only alleviates a symptom rather than fixing the root cause. A lot of the chemicals in those prescriptions have adverse side effects, and food is something we need to live. Why not give your body nutrients it needs to heal itself rather than doing it the modernized way?

Do you know how much shit I’ve gotten for cloth diapering because IT IS SO HARD? Their words, not mine. I don’t find it all that hard, just establishing a good wash routine. Why do y’all care how I diaper my children?! Guess what? Diapers take hundreds of years to decompose, and they just SIT in landfills. The material inside of diapers to soak up the moisture and keep it away from the skin is the SAME SHIT used to clean up oil spills in oceans. Oh, the worst part? THEY’RE EXPENSIVE AS ALL GET OUT and if you have two babies in DIFFERENT sizes, you have to double the expense because you can’t stuff them in the same size. So unless you’re buying the diapers, take a seat, and watch me as I plop toddler turds into the toilet just like adults do before I wash them.

Personal autonomy to me means making decisions for YOUR family like breastfeeding or not, eating organic or not, cloth diapering or not, baby wearing or not, homeschooling or not (I’m considering it, guys… what is this common core math bullshit?!), vaccinating or not, home water birth or not, etc., that best suit the needs of your loved ones, regardless what we believe the “norm” is.

I’m done, y’all. Educate yourselves. THAT is always an option.

 

 

 

your baby, your way.

In this day and age, I feel like moms and dads alike get scrutinized for their parenting choices whether it comes from friends or close family members. “You shouldn’t _____ because _____.”

Some days I wake up ready to take on the day with the girls in my loving arms, and other days I want them at an arm’s length because I barely slept and they won’t stop whining. I know babies whine and cry, but sometimes it’s too much. I’m allowed to be annoyed. If your kid is annoying you, don’t feel bad. It’s normal.

I breastfeed as much as I possibly can, but that doesn’t stop me from making them a bottle of formula throughout the day if I need to or gasp, WANT to. As long as they are eating well I don’t care where the nutrition comes from. I will NEVER shame a mother for how she chooses to feed her baby. Unless it is your baby’s nutrition, it’s none of your business. Period.

If the girls are visibly tired and I put them down in their crib, I let them fuss for a few minutes because I know they’ll fall asleep. I refuse to pick them up at every little noise they make because if I do, they won’t nap or go to bed, and they will be one thousand times crankier as the day or night progresses, and it’s harder to get them to sleep if they’re overly tired. I also know the difference between fussing and full-fledged crying. If you are one of the parents who refuses to ever let your baby cry, that’s cool. That’s what works for you.

I LOVE cloth diapering. I think it’s great for the environment and great on the bank account. If you don’t have the patience or simply don’t want to, that’s totally cool. I am not secretly judging you for using disposable diapers.

Last thing, I also really believe in baby wearing. If you don’t like it, haven’t tried it, or are simply uninterested in the subject, by all means, carry your baby around in your arms, their car seat, or stroller. Whatever you want, dude!

All of the things I mentioned above are things I constantly see being debated over, yet what works for one family might not work for another, and that’s what you need to understand. Unless a child is in physical danger, opinions on other parenting choices are absolutely NONE of your concern and should be kept to yourself. Society is bad enough, we don’t need any extra mom/dad tyrants calling other parents out for not doing x,y, or z like they think they should be.